The Best Credit Card Ever

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You shop around for weeks, perhaps even months before you apply for a credit card. You have looked around in what feels like all the possible places for a good credit card company, good interest rates, a descent rewards program, and good possibilities for credit limits. You finally decide on one, but you’re still not sure you’ve found the right one. Well, my friend, you need to take advantage of the best credit card ever. We call it the credit card from heaven, which where you have to go to apply for it. Here are a few of the benefits of a credit card you can only get after you die.

Interest Rates

None whatsoever. Other companies offer you zero percent interest for a certain period of time, then rack it up after that time expires. With us, we’ll let you keep the zero percent interest… forever. You never pay a dime of interest. With us, the only interest you pay is taking interest in our company and signing with us. Having a customer like you is a privilege, and we want to keep you, no matter what it takes.

No Monthly Payments Until The End Of Time

Not only are you free of interest for the entire time you have this card, you don’t even have to pay back what you spend. The greatest pay we could ever receive from you is your beautiful smile every time you run that card through the machine and pack home that new $9,000 hand bag that’s too small to hold your cash anyway. Spending thousands of dollars is monthly payment enough, just knowing you are holding our card between your tightly clenched fingers.

Rewards Rewards Rewards

You may want to get bigger pockets and more vacation time. For every dollar that you spend, you get ten points back. You can trade those points in for just about anything you want. Cash, gasoline, skymiles, lottery tickets, peanut butter… whatever you want. Just spend the money, and we’ll give you the rewards, just because we love you.

Always Qualify

No matter who you are, where you come from, or how bad your credit is, you will never be turned down at our company. Getting this credit card is as easy as getting free samples at Costco. All you have to do is come to us and ask for it. Even if your credit score is in the negatives, which is impossible, by the way, you will still qualify to have our credit card. It’s our way of helping out the little guys, and helping out people who are otherwise rejected.

So whatever kind of credit card you have now, it’s probably not as good as ours. Come in and get one now. We hand them out like dinner mints at a cheap restaurant, and we want you to partake of the advantages that are in store for you.
This advertisement for the credit card from heaven is brought to you buy BS Inc. We’d like to thank the Over My Dead Body Association for making this credit card offer possible.

4 Things To Teach New Credit Card Holders

New credit card customers, especially teenagers who are planning to apply for student credit cards, need to know the basic rules that will keep them financially safe and secure. Some rules are easier than others to follow, but they are all very important.

Increase Credit Card Limits

Some people believe that increasing your credit card limits is too difficult and can only be accomplished by those with at least an upper middle class income. Surprisingly enough, however, raising the limits of your credit cards can be done by anyone, no matter what type of income you have.

High Credit Score

Another important rule includes securing a high credit score. This not only comes from paying off your credit cards, but also from properly upholding every other credit investment that you become involved with: car payments, mortgages, businesses, etc.

Obviously, maintaining good credit and thus increasing your credit score will make it much easier to gain the trust of credit card companies, who, in turn, will feel more secure in raising your credit limit. This may seem like an easy and even apparent rule to remember, but most people are rejected from increased credit limits because they fail to follow this “simple” rule.

Make Payments On Time

Another way to improve your chances is to maintain a good financial relationship with the credit card companies. Making your credit card payments on time is the first step, but by also consistently making big payments on your credit cards, companies will be more than happy to continue to increase your limits. Consistency in making large payments on time is the key to constantly gaining the approval of enlarging your credit card limits.

Using Rewards Cards

When making ordinary purchases, people mostly use cash and/or debit cards, which is a safe yet unrewarding way to increase personal benefits. If people would simply switch their usage of cash and debit cards for reward cards, their amount of skymiles and other financial rewards would automatically increase. When buying gas, going grocery shopping, getting new clothes, paying bills, and making other ordinary purchases, remember to use your rewards card.

This simple technique will help you earn skymiles that would otherwise not be gained, obviously, with cash or debit cards. Although credit cards can cause people a lot of pain when used unwisely, they can also be very rewarding when used properly and wisely.

Other ways to maximize the skymiles on your credit cards is to apply all your major purchases to the credit cards. Wisdom must be used when this technique is used, but when used properly, it can harvest huge skymile rewards. Such major investments on credit cards include buying new or used motorized machines such as cars, motorcycles, dirt bikes, boats, etc.

A brand new credit card customer can be very naïve and sometimes suffers the unfortunate consequences of credit card penalties. If teenagers simply follow the rules stated above, they will be able to avoid unfortunate late fee charges and actually gain real life rewards and advantages in the credit card business.

Build Skymiles While You Fix Up the House

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Every year Americans spend millions and millions updating and repairing their homes. It’s our biggest asset (or liablility, depending on your perspective), and we take a lot of pride in its appearance. Home improvement isn’t cheap though. Let’s say you want to finish your basement so you have a new family room and a couple more bedrooms. You could easily spend $20,000 on the project.

The question is how are you going to pay for it? If I asked what is the financial tool most often used to pay for large-scale home remodeling, your quick answer would be probably be home equity loans. What would be the number two tool? Credit Cards.

We can could have en entirely separate conversation about whether you should go into a bunch of new debt for sake of an updated house. The short answer is probably no. The best thing for your financial health would be to save up for a while and pay cash for the improvements. But if you’re going to put the money into your home you should consider the best way to go about it.

Here’s my advice. Open the home equity loan. It’s a relatively low interest loan where the interest may even be tax deductible. But before you write those home equity checks, I’d advise adding one more step.

Get a credit card with  a large limit and a great rewards program. I have an American Express card with a Delta Skymiles rewards program. Every 25,000 skymiles gets you a round trip ticket anywhere in the continental United States. $1 spent gets you 1 skymile.

Now think about that $20,000 basement you’re putting in. Use the credit card to pay for all the materials and the pay it off with the home equity line before the statement comes due. That way you avoid the high interest rate on the credit card, but you got yourself most of the way to a free plane ticket while you were at it.

Not a bad deal, right? New basement, extra square footage, and a free trip to boot. I love my credit cards.